Is it just me or I feel that it is worthless to be alive in this world... 

The place where I seek peace has gradually become the place where my burden lies.

Will I be able to live until the day where everything in my life goes right?
Will I be able to fulfil my dream before going back to God's side?
Will I be able to die peaceful when the time is ripe?
Will I be able to leave the world without any regret?
Will I be able to stay alive until the end of the world?
Well nobody knows except God
But I still hope I will be able to know
So I don't regret the last moment in life
But if that's the case then life will not be that interesting as it is now

我已经变了
但是还是来不及了

What's harder than pretending to be not you? Tiredness has long overcome the will of mine to strive for a better choice but everytime I feel like giving up last strand of straw appear. Believing that it might be a chance to reignite the passion I had but disappointment always follow behind, extinguish the passion and throw me back to the choice of giving up.
What's life without hope?
I'm really tired. So tired of everything and everyone. Tired of needing to comply to everyone. Tired of being not myself. When would be the day that I can be myself the one and only one Denzell.

Sometimes all I need is someone to talk to.

A perfect memory

It has been a long time since her name was in the top of my conversation list. Looking back, she had been a pillar of strength to my life motivating me to propel towards my dream. I did not know how it happen or when did it happen but she has then left my life, leaving none of her shadow in the chapter of my life. I once wonder should I look for her but worries overcome the will of mine thinking I might be forcing her back into my life which our paths may not be fated to cross each other. A pure friendship between a guy and a girl which nobody believes has then disappear, evaporating into the thin air.
Reminiscing the past of ours, when we made phone call to each other accompanying each other when we are down, sharing stuff that make us happy and introduce stuff which either of us did not know about it. Sarcastic remarks made towards each other strengthen our friendship and has not once trigger a fight among us. People say that it is hard to find friend who can think alike so grasp it even though it is just a strand of straw which might break anytime. Regretful feeling has once overcome me while sitting in front of the laptop typing this passage, thinking why did not I take the chance while we have not drift so far yet.
Questions have been spinning in my head about her - Do she still remember me? Will us be able to chat heart to heart again? Will our friendship be as pure as last time? Only God has the answers to all these questions.